Saturday, April 25, 2009

Start a fight

They say staring is a tell-tale sign of a certain lack of intelligence. So that would probably explain this area's affinity for gazing whilst expressionless at people that confuse them. i.e. those who have a future, class or less of an appetite.



Friday, April 24, 2009

Palms sweaty

Is there a class I can take which will teach me how to say "I am awesome" more eloquently in interview settings? Because otherwise I act like a 15 year old girl being asked on a date. Red face, sweaty palms...lack of control over my words. Yep.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Fashion is Passion

I just bit into a Reese's cup that both tasted like soap, and crunched a bit. I used my better judgment to face my losses and chuck the candy. We have an 80 year old courier who comes bearing a canvas bag of treats twice a week. Could these off-putting realities be more cliche? Sometimes I wonder if he will bring in apples with razors lodged inside, waiting to cut my pink gums. Some of the selections are seemingly harmless. Some of them look like they have been through two world wars; and I wouldn't doubt for a second they have been around that long.

He is an interesting gentleman. Though in no way is he gentle. He gets his kicks out of telling dirty jokes and staring just a little too long. This could be deemed sexual harassment in most work places, but the owner just shakes his head and laughs whenever he hears the end of an uncomfortable joke. I am often left to wonder if dirty old men arrive at their destination after years of suppressing such behavior, or did they act this way since they could speak in complete sentences? I am hoping for the latter, but leaning towards the former.

He ambles in looking in need of a nap. I fear for other drivers as I see him lurch into traffic at approximately 2 miles per hour. He is likely the kind of ancient driver that causes accidents. I learn to ignore the comments and looks because hey, I get free candy. 50% of the time it's completely edible too!


Talk about upselling

A coworker's 15 year old daughter wants to see Fall Out Boy. BLEACHER tickets are $70. Are you goddamn kidding me? For that epic piece of musical garbage? What makes me even more distraught is the serious lack of quality music that shows up in this grand area of NY. I miss living near the city. My wallet however, does not.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Warranted to Aggravate

I get roughly 10 phone calls a day from different gendered computers telling me that the factory warranty on my vehicle has expired. These calls happen to come in via my work phone. I listen for a second and the same script launches from different area codes. Scam artists from Canada, California, and other far away reaches of North America are genuinely concerned about my automobile's health.

Little do they know that my 1997 Honda Civic's factory warranty expired about 70,000 miles ago. So yes, it is too late to renew; and no... I couldn't care less. A few times I have tried to remove the phone number from the list. I always reach a very frantic operator. I hope their job does not bank on anyone willing to sign up for this supposed warranty. I think it's safe to assume that no one does, and I am left to wonder how such a company stays in "business".

I don't even think I have the energy to get annoyed by these sales attempts. In fact I feel a certain joy when I realize the person calling is just a computer chip. Ah yes, much better than the other phone calls I receive that make me feel like this:





or



Feeling a bit...

sour today.


Sunday, April 19, 2009

New music

just doesn't have enough soul.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Pizza Hut...


SUCKS. Their sauce was always too sweet or too much. Maybe it was really just not enough. I guess I can vaguely say I enjoyed the bread sticks and the seedy atmosphere. But let's face it folks, their pre-made fare leaves much to be desired.

Now that I have bared my inner soul, really shown you my disdain for "The Hut"; I will tell you something else. When the charge for $29.15 showed up on my debit card with the words "Pizza Hut" next to it, my heart dropped. I have not been to a Pizza Hut in quite some time. Though the aroma has tempted me within the confines of Target, I just cannot bring myself to spend one penny I make under their own red roof.

The last time I had a sit down feast, a large waitress ambled along while clearing tables, enjoying her own buffet... of customer leftovers. She nibbled on the stuffed crust, then took a bite of someone's forgotten bread stick. She had no shame, she worked at Pizza Hut. The waitress even sipped on an unfinished soda. Thoroughly disturbed, I made it a point to never return. Imagine my surprise when I found out that someone had committed 30 dollars worth of fraud at the pizza chain with my credit card.

I called my financial institution immediately. The teller told me the order had been called in at 4:56pm the previous day. At that same moment the order was placed, I was silently screaming at the clock so I could leave work. I didn't even know there was a Pizza Hut in Troy. What bullshit. She told me the charge was canceled, as was my bank card. I breathed a sigh of relief, only to find days later that the woman was a damn liar.

"FORCE CHARGE Pizza Hut Troy NY" showed up on my account. I called again. Another woman told me that debit charges legally had to post. I would have to go in and fill out a form to dispute this charge. I wanted to tell her that I hated Pizza Hut; and that I would never give my credit card information over the phone. I know she didn't care either way, so I saved my breath for cursing out America...and the world.

I started to put two and two together while obsessing over the subject. I had only used my card for a gas charge. This particular station was apparently called "Race Track". It is a veritable bodega with a highly visible bong in the window. They must have smoked, gotten the card information, and decided Pizza Hut would be the place they would feast with someone else's money. Of course there is virtually no way to prove this, but I think it's highly probable. Those stoners were more resourceful than most. I'll give 'em that, but in reality I would like to give them a bomb.