Massive confusion with no humor involved

Should I attempt to take classes? Should I wait until I can pay for them? Should I legitimately apply? Is it useless to try? Rhyming unintended. Caffeine is not making me giddy this time around, more like inducing my state of confusion and feeling of inferiority. Mainly would I be doing this to lessen my anxiety rather than working towards a goal I am actually interested in? Why didn't I think of these things two years ago? Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.