This weather

is for the ducks.

Here is a special hate-filled post

I do not like cars. Namely my own. Sure she's been a real sweetheart, but at 160,000 miles...it seems she may be on her last legs. And then what? The verdict is out on that one. Now off to mope about cars and their issues.

Most females are

FLAKES! I suppose I can be as well, but I'm making a concerted effort to stop from being such.

Combustion would be preferable to...

mindless data entry on a day that I planned on reading magazines. I don't enjoy Mondays, and I don't enjoy putting in a bunch of letters and numbers regarding other people's accomplishments. I get used to doing nothing, and though it drives me insane my rate of pay matches the amount of tasks I normally need to accomplish. I.e.next to none. But that's OK, it's nice to break up monotony with more monotony.

I recently went on an interview where my would-be supervisor disclosed that they had 200 applicants for the position. They were interviewing forty people in person. I remained upbeat after hearing such discouraging facts, but as soon as I walked out the door my caffeine-fueled positive outlook dissolved rather quickly. FORTY PEOPLE? Should I have attached a head shot with my resume? Done a small dance routine to seem a bit more memorable? What's worse was that she had already interviewed 30 bodies.

She politely asked if I planned on doing anything with my degree. Of course I said I would just love the opportunity to be an admin for an engineering firm. I earnestly stated that I would jump for joy if I was hired to type up documents for 70% of the work day. (While the other 30% would likely be spent on a self-suicide watch because I can't imagine this job would be anymore fulfilling than staring at white walls for 9 hours.) Ah, the joys of interviewing. These people are basically looking for the person who can bullshit convincingly. I am working on it, while learning from those who seemingly lie all day and take great pleasure in it.

I am left to wonder if I will hear back from this cattle call. Give it another day, and another shot of espresso and I will be back at it, among millions of others who are searching during our great "recession". Keep spending Obama, who needs a pension or social security anyway?

Start a fight

They say staring is a tell-tale sign of a certain lack of intelligence. So that would probably explain this area's affinity for gazing whilst expressionless at people that confuse them. i.e. those who have a future, class or less of an appetite.

Palms sweaty

Is there a class I can take which will teach me how to say "I am awesome" more eloquently in interview settings? Because otherwise I act like a 15 year old girl being asked on a date. Red face, sweaty palms...lack of control over my words. Yep.

Fashion is Passion

I just bit into a Reese's cup that both tasted like soap, and crunched a bit. I used my better judgment to face my losses and chuck the candy. We have an 80 year old courier who comes bearing a canvas bag of treats twice a week. Could these off-putting realities be more cliche? Sometimes I wonder if he will bring in apples with razors lodged inside, waiting to cut my pink gums. Some of the selections are seemingly harmless. Some of them look like they have been through two world wars; and I wouldn't doubt for a second they have been around that long.

He is an interesting gentleman. Though in no way is he gentle. He gets his kicks out of telling dirty jokes and staring just a little too long. This could be deemed sexual harassment in most work places, but the owner just shakes his head and laughs whenever he hears the end of an uncomfortable joke. I am often left to wonder if dirty old men arrive at their destination after years of suppressing such behavior, or did they act this way since they could speak in complete sentences? I am hoping for the latter, but leaning towards the former.

He ambles in looking in need of a nap. I fear for other drivers as I see him lurch into traffic at approximately 2 miles per hour. He is likely the kind of ancient driver that causes accidents. I learn to ignore the comments and looks because hey, I get free candy. 50% of the time it's completely edible too!