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Pizza Hut...

SUCKS. Their sauce was always too sweet or too much. Maybe it was really just not enough. I guess I can vaguely say I enjoyed the bread sticks and the seedy atmosphere. But let's face it folks, their pre-made fare leaves much to be desired.

Now that I have bared my inner soul, really shown you my disdain for "The Hut"; I will tell you something else. When the charge for $29.15 showed up on my debit card with the words "Pizza Hut" next to it, my heart dropped. I have not been to a Pizza Hut in quite some time. Though the aroma has tempted me within the confines of Target, I just cannot bring myself to spend one penny I make under their own red roof.

The last time I had a sit down feast, a large waitress ambled along while clearing tables, enjoying her own buffet... of customer leftovers. She nibbled on the stuffed crust, then took a bite of someone's forgotten bread stick. She had no shame, she worked at Pizza Hut. The waitress even sipped on an unfinished soda. Thoroughly disturbed, I made it a point to never return. Imagine my surprise when I found out that someone had committed 30 dollars worth of fraud at the pizza chain with my credit card.

I called my financial institution immediately. The teller told me the order had been called in at 4:56pm the previous day. At that same moment the order was placed, I was silently screaming at the clock so I could leave work. I didn't even know there was a Pizza Hut in Troy. What bullshit. She told me the charge was canceled, as was my bank card. I breathed a sigh of relief, only to find days later that the woman was a damn liar.

"FORCE CHARGE Pizza Hut Troy NY" showed up on my account. I called again. Another woman told me that debit charges legally had to post. I would have to go in and fill out a form to dispute this charge. I wanted to tell her that I hated Pizza Hut; and that I would never give my credit card information over the phone. I know she didn't care either way, so I saved my breath for cursing out America...and the world.

I started to put two and two together while obsessing over the subject. I had only used my card for a gas charge. This particular station was apparently called "Race Track". It is a veritable bodega with a highly visible bong in the window. They must have smoked, gotten the card information, and decided Pizza Hut would be the place they would feast with someone else's money. Of course there is virtually no way to prove this, but I think it's highly probable. Those stoners were more resourceful than most. I'll give 'em that, but in reality I would like to give them a bomb.

Hobbies=

Bank. Literally. I would need mucho money IN the bank to do most of the things I want to do. I would also need daylight hours to stick around, and for my hands not to turn blue after taking five photos. Such is life. I also need a sewing machine. Perhaps I could covertly take my mother's out of the house without her noticing. Probably not a good plan.

Health Insurance...

does not grow on trees. But a former supervisor vehemently begged to differ. She was equal parts pretentious and moronic. She argued that you could walk into any hospital without health insurance and they would be able to strike affordable deals with you. The fact that she used such a term shows hospitals are similar to loan sharks. The "deal" they will provide will include daily phone calls from collection agencies and severe damage to a credit score. This swell little offer doesn't stop there. Generally even a minor procedure without insurance will result in owing an equivalent to one year of higher education. I wondered if she was independently wealthy, but I snapped to my senses when I realized she got a free ride from the government because her husband was in the Navy. Oh well. Such luxuries can't erase the fact that she is violently annoying as a human being.

Seeing as I currently cannot afford $400 a month for health insurance I am living life dangerously without it. Relying on Planned Parenthood for the bare minimum they can offer... I make just under the limit to have these services rendered free of charge. It's a slight relief, but at the same time checking Web MD compulsively when something just "doesn't feel right" is not the same as having a regular doctor.

Today alone I convinced myself that my persistent yet mild stomach bug was the result of severe food poisoning and it was only a matter of time before I would become paralyzed. The symptoms matched perfectly...there was no way I was wrong. Earlier in the day I clearly had some form of stomach cancer. (Yet I was still weighing the odds of buying a purse instead of going to a doctor...couldn't have been that bad.)

Health Care is a different issue than Health Coverage. Of course if I were a multi-millionaire who elected to live life outside the parameters of insurance I could easily afford and obtain health care. But this is not the case for the vast majority of Americans. I graduated college and was kicked off of my father's health insurance the day of commencement. It was like a bitter break up. I only recently threw out the prescription and ID cards. For months I foolishly thought that maybe I could still go to a doctor and no one would realize the difference as long as I flashed those pieces of plastic in their direction. Much like a lost love that can't let go, you think maybe...just maybe... things could still work out.

But as of right now I am still in the bitter stage. I work for a small company that does not pay money toward employee insurance. It seems cruel but this is becoming the norm. Workplaces used to take care of those working full-time...but such instances are going by the way of cradle to grave jobs. I accept the change. I would go legitimately insane if I worked at the same company from 21 until 65. If people are accepting these changes regarding work habits, why isn't America adapting health-wise? Health is the single most important component in regards to human life. Seems like a simple...even stupidly obvious concept. But Insurance companies make such a necessary thing out of reach.

I am really not much for politics, but I hope that things start to change in a modern direction. Health...not war. (I hope that ends up on t-shirts) Because I am pretty damn sure that each time I assume I have a terrible disease thanks to google...it actually takes more minutes off my life.

This is your captain speaking...

I think "advertising" tactics have gone too far. This includes the text I received recently saying that "sam" (Lowercase... because we are apparently quite informal with each other) wanted me to visit a Viagra site. Clearly this Sam does not know me very well afterall. I am a female who happens to be dating someone under the age of 80. I am not a prime candidate for the audience they are attempting to reach. Albeit amusing... I don't want to pay 10 cents for receiving such a message. Is there a "Do Not Text" list yet?

I also received a phone call today which at first sounded like it was taking place at Barnum and Bailey's circus. Unintelligible noises, people yelping...I imagined monkeys crossing tight ropes. After I said Hello loudly multiple times... a jovial man exclaimed that my captain (him) was speaking. Huh. The vision switched now, to a Star Trek inspired setting. Visions of stars and far-off planets filled my head. The "captain" continued to tell me how I could win a cruise by entering some contest. What? A cruise? Oh right captains run those things too. I hung up the phone laughing. That was my favorite recorded message yet. Except for the three voicemails from someone in the middle of Florida who did not listen carefully to my voice mail message declaring my name. All of the messages were mumbled. Something about her leaving for work, saying to call back? I think a "Charles" was mentioned? I don't know him either.

The point is, well there isn't one. But I just don't want to be bothered by such things in my electronic life (or my real life either). If I suddenly find I need copious amounts of Viagra...I'll call you. The same goes for a contest in which I could win a CRUISE!!!! From that phone call alone I know that's the last vacation I would ever want to go on. But maybe some people enjoy that sort of thing.

Just as I was cursing out Troy...

3 large men shoved my car out of the ice it was floundering on.

After spending a good 40 minutes picking at the precipitation mixed with exhaust whilst shoveling until I hit pavement...I decided the car would likely be movable. I start my princess up...and the wheels did nothing but spin. Perhaps they even moved one centimeter. I started swearing I would never live in a place that required street parking again. No, I promised myself I would never live in a place that required a car, period. As I slammed my skull against the headrest repeatedly in frustration...a man with glassy eyes and pupils that spanned his entire eye socket walked by. Normally I would pray that someone would be so kind as to offer help. But I don't think I wanted assistance from the resident crack head.

I climbed out of the car almost face-planting on Second Avenue. A bus flew by; dangerously close to taking my young life. I continued picking at ice like a fisherman on a frozen lake. Though instead of catching fish...I would have the "privilege" of DRIVING my CAR. How novel. I took a few breaks to stare at people passing by. Pleading with my eyes for assistance, but I was too prideful to speak up. I moved forward, while almost convincing myself that it would be worth having the car towed on Tuesday in order to have it mobile again. $100+ seemed reasonable to me; so long as I didn't have to shovel dense snow blanketed by car fumes anymore.

Some people beeped and yelled at me as I kept at it. I realized later I had no idea what they were saying. Most around here speak a language unto itself...not quite English...maybe even closer to prehistoric grunting. Maybe they were offering words of encouragement. Maybe my attire was too radical like I'd been told so politely this previous summer. The only sure thing is that they should really mind their own damn business and read a book. Or a dead sea scroll because that's how evolved they seem to be. Perhaps their language has no written form yet, which would explain quite a bit. But they sure have mastered car horn technology.

Just as I was looking toward the sky pleading to a God I am not so sure I believe in, a man across the street asked if I would like him to try to get the car out. I enthusiastically said "yes", "please", and "thank you" thirty times consecutively. He also had trouble. At one point I covered my face because I honestly believed my tire would fly off and take my head with it. Shortly after, two other well fed men stepped outside of the small diner across the street I had eaten at mere hours before. Both of them pushed the back end of my car, as the original savior was steering. It finally jolted forward into safe territory. I rejoiced, and said my thank yous profusely. They laughed a little and responded with a nonchalant "you're welcome" as they sauntered across the street for more coffee and bacon.

Things to Do...

These are not "New Year's Resolutions"; but rather lifetime resolutions...as in I hope I do them before I am 80. If not I will be forever disappointed.

1.) Write more (Meaning: write things I wouldn't mind others seeing.)
2.) Learn to really use the beautiful camera I just bought.
3.) Buy a sewing machine...relearn to sew. (We all know I hate most clothing on the market...or the clothing I can actually afford. It's time to make my own shit.)
4.) Buy a damn GRE book...I guess.
5.) READ.

So I already exercise often, and I don't want to obsess over saving money because I do that. I hope this sets me apart from the banality of most resolutions that never come to fruition.